Best way to get rid of a body?

[Doc. Mentalist S.]

Flare gun's would attract unwanted attention, Lakes don't decay bodies fast enough.

If the body's there laying, and if you used blunt force or projectiles, fill the top layer of the body with lye. Then pour buckets of water. This would cause an exothermic reaction, burning the body and masking the time of death. This would take a lot of time and lye.


Or if you want to completely lay low while transporting the body. Theres always the "Kansas City Shuffle"

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EIpELQSjyM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EIpELQSjyM</a>

Source: Watches too many movies

[Waffuls the Huntress]

My God, a movie that I've seen a part from.

This is amazing. And this is a good way to transport a body. OBVIOUS-NESS IS SNEAKY-EST.

[Leetgrain]

Ingenious!

[SkiesAhoy]

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"

[Cortez (Mr. T. FOO!)]

Oh gawd

[Phocks]

Flare gun

Exactly.  But you have to hang  it first.  To avoid burn marks.

that is literally a great idea, i always notice burn marks and use that as suspicions, hum hummmmmm!

[Blackllama]

Flare gun

Exactly.  But you have to hang  it first.  To avoid burn marks.

that is literally a great idea, i always notice burn marks and use that as suspicions, hum hummmmmm!

I'm not actually totally sure if it works or not, cause the body drops and it may still leave a mark.  Should try it.

[Cortez (Mr. T. FOO!)]

It takes a lot to burn a fresh body, ever see a crematory? And those bodies tend to be a few days old. Even so, there would still be ashes on the floor and the smell of burning flesh. Quite unique I hear.

[Yahtzee]

Dress it up as a hobo and put it in a back alley. Nobody will go and see if he is dead. They will just assume he is some hobo sleeping.

[Nelth]

The easiest way is to put in a muslim veil and then float it down the ganges, no one will care because corpses float down it normally, and if your lucky one of the cannibalistic indian cultures will eat it.

[Blackllama]

Dress it up as a hobo and put it in a back alley. Nobody will go and see if he is dead. They will just assume he is some hobo sleeping.

You just made my next murder so much simpler.

[Doc. Mentalist S.]

[Cortez (Mr. T. FOO!)]

A large wooden barrel with a solution of water and sodium hydroxide. After most of the body has dissolved remove it from the barrel, but be careful of the chlorine gas if there is any left. Then take the remains and put them in the trunk of an old metal car with a car tire WITH the rim in the tire. Place hard wood in the back with the remains and add a generous amount of gasoline, but be careful gasoline is very volatile. Light it, shut the trunk and wait till the flames die down. You have just made a redneck crematorium. What you will have left if anything is fragments of the skull and possible other fragments of bones. REMOVE THE TEETH before you do anything. If you like use the charcoal left over from the burning to cook yourself up some burgers. Just scatter the rest of the dust of the body where ever. Or keep it in a urn in your house. the best place to hide something is in plain sight.


---side note when mixing sodium hydroxide with water. First add water to the barrel then the base or else it will blow up in your face.

This is still the best and cleanist way.