Corrupt-a-wish!!!

[Pancake Of Doom]

Granted, but you have so much food already down your throat, it backs up and no more food can be shoved down your throat you... large person.

I wish that I can dance like I want to,
I can leave your friends behind,
cause if friends don't dance and if they don't dance
well they're no friends of mine
I say, I can go where we want to,
a place they will never find,
and I can act like I come from out of this world
leave the real one far behind
I can go where I want to,
the night is young and so am I.
I can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
then surprise 'em with a victory cry
Say, I act if I want to,
and I know nobody will,
and you can act real rude and totally remove
in fact you act like an imbicile

[Leetgrain]

Granted,but you die because of your dancing and rhyming allergy.

I wish the next poster sets his signature to say that they use hemorrhoid  cream.

[Accan]

Granted.

I wish everyone was like me

[M-Dawg]

Granted, but then you become like everyone else, thus becoming an outsider once again.

I wish Microsoft would stop being greedy bastards.

[Sniper no Sniping]

Granted, now Apple became EVEN MORE greedy. (plus Bill Gates wasn't greedy in the first place)

I wish i knew what to blah wut?

[Pancake Of Doom]

Granted... whatever the fuck your wish was. Im just going to say your legs were broken.

I wish rule 34 didn't ruin my childhood.

[Pyro]

Granted, but you had no childhood.

I wish some stuff. 

[Sniper no Sniping]

Granted, it was just a charge and Targe and you lost your epicly sweet Pyro hats (which i will sell you a flamboyant flamenco for 2.33 ref)

I wish that that guy that was up there that had that thing that did that other thing knew that i was wishing for that.

[Nelth]

Granted, He knows what you are wishing for, but doesn't care.

I wish that that Unrelenting Force sounds like it does in the trailer.

[Accan]

Granted, but you end up shouting your dog off a mountain.
(http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/downloads/file.php?id=2973)

I wish hobos gave more free hugs

[TowerSheep]

Granted but you are hugged by them so often you are always mistaken for one.

I wish women couldn't speak.

[Coreybush11]

Granted, but then they would be able to express their opinions  by telepathy.

I wish I owned a Chinese restaurant chain.

[Nelth]

Granted, but you feel a sudden urge to take in a number of stray dogs.

I wish that Fallout would stop crashing at pivotal moments.

[M-Dawg]

Granted, the game now crashes right after each save you make, pissing you off but also ensuring your choices you made in your save game stay intact.

I wish my face forms into    every time I make a troll-worthy statement.

[Cortez (Mr. T. FOO!)]

Granted but all you ever say is troll worthy

I wish that I didn't have to clean up my basement...