The Unattainable

[Global_Meltdown]

What is life without love and happiness. To sit and view this world as is spins continuously passing us by. Our minds and bodies grow older with each passing moment yet we cannot dedicate ourselves to accomplish some of the most important things in life.

What they are I do not know because it is different for us all. I know that there is a longing inside of me to be with someone who truely respects and appreciates what it is I have to offer them. To love and care for someone and for that to be reciprocated back as well.

You would assume that such a expectation shouldn’t be so hard to meet in this world of billions of people and growing every day. though it is hard.

First you must start by finding that thing inside of you that creates that magical spark. That magnet that draws us closer to another human being. Then in a flash of light your heart flutters and the blood rushes through your body like a spice only known to heavens angels. As you stare the creature of beauty in the eye’s you find yourself lost in a forest so deep that you can’t remember your way out. All you can remember is the mythical creature that prances through as if it were a dream in which you shared. Inviting you to enjoy it’s bliss for just a moment to see if you share the same things. Upon the joining of the minds you feel like you’ve never felt before you feel as if there is something that you have lost for so long and only been aware that it was missing till that very second. You yearn for it every waking hour, you begin to think that you cannot live another moment without finding a way to include that mythical creature you happened to stumble upon to your real world.

But none of this stops you. Nothing brings you back to reality to tell you what’s rational and sane. Your blood begins to pump ferociously to the point your body begins to tremble. Not from joy but from the mere thought that perhaps if the cards are played right. Perhaps if the stars are in align. Perhaps.... just perhaps this might be the creature that makes you whole.

As you draw yourself closer you begin to watch it dance, you dance with it. As this waltz continues you begin to exchange stories, whispers in the ear. Some of them great and magnificent. Others sad and terrible. Regardless of this you do not hold high expectations. You take the bad in with the good knowing that there is a dark shadow that lurks behind every person and object that possesses matter in this universe. 

Without there being bad, how can you expect the good to be real? It is only possible that the scale is at least weighed down on one side or the other maybe not equally but at least weighed. If not that’s the moment of true concern at which you dive a little deeper. The forest now tainted with a dark shade of greys and blues and other dark colors the human mind can barely comprehend.

It is understandable that there is a place in everyone’s mind that cannot or will not ever be reached. A dungeon so deep, a fortress so protected not even the mightiest of hero’s could conquer. It leaves you left with a question like a dagger in the heart how could I of delve so deep into that dark forest after some so mythical that I lost my way.

It’s no fault of the beautiful and elusive creature that you made this journey. None the less you find yourself in a place between darkness and reality. Lost looking for that glimmer of light to lead you out. Forsaken you are, because the way can’t be found merely by looking ahead. You must look past that into the abyss that you see contains nothing more than those colors that faded.

The only true escape is painting your way out, creating a canvas in this place so colorful and big that nothing that has happened could possibly challenge your masterpiece. Build yourself back up again. Only then will the light be visible. The path to the world from which you came. Full of thoughts and hopes and dreams.

To engulf ourselves in these dreams that we believe are so amazing only to have to work so hard to remove ourselves from them is a great burden to the mind and the heart. Your being aches with a wound so deep only you know how far it goes.

I suppose the real question is how far will you let it go? Will you let it consume you? Or will you fight with every last inch of heart that you have to hold your life to this world.

Or will you be eternally lost in the darkness, returning the forest from which you first wondered searching for that mythical creature that made you blood pump and your heart ache. Made you so nervous that if you even drew another breathe it might make it flee back to the place from which it came. Because if you return to that place, you won’t like what you find. Nothing but the decayed corpse of what you thought you couldn’t live without. Until now.

[Christovski]

TL;DR

[Global_Meltdown]

hah thanks for the bump anyways.....

[Global_Meltdown]

Lol im not a hippy did it come off that way? I was listening to classical music when I wrote it so maybe that's why.

[Wholegrain]

what is life without giant enemy crab?

[Christovski]

did somebody say giant enemy crab?

[Skieski]

FFS. This is a serious writing which obviously took time and dedication. Try to keep this one thread SPAM free. If you are to post something, LET IT BE CONSTRUCTIVE.


Great piece of work Global, added it to my quotes folder

[Jorgen]

well that global has never been my way of viewing things, because i have troubles with actually caring about people ... it sometimes feels like a learned thing rather than a thing built in me from before might be every1 was learned this at some point and it might be that i am semi screwed in the head, but then again i always knew i was different sadly...

you know a life can often be destroyed searching for this so called one true love, my first priority has always been my career for some reason, yet talent has also been wasted on me, seeing that i have either one set together long disease or a whole bunch of them, some causing short term memory loss others causing my to lack alot of cencentration which you could possibly see in most my writings they are either short, or the are pretty much forgetfull and unconcentrated Dx


but back to the main thing i think every human being looks at this seemingly unobtainable wish inside the body a different way, some need true love others need a career they will enjoy =)

[Global_Meltdown]

Thanks Juani, I'm currently in the middle of leaving a 6-7 year relationship and I'm happy because right now I'm only here because financially I actually can't walk away yet..... so it's tearing me apart to be stuck so close to someone that I care so much for yet have no possibility of having a future with ( not my choice).

I understand your approach Jorgen (Not the medical problems because I don't think anyone except those with them could say that honestly). But at the same time I think I have an idea of what you mean. I've always worked my whole life since I was very young. To me this girl was my possibility of something other than a mindless dedication to not being poor.

The funny thing is she has destroyed I have destroyed any career or job that actually payed decently in the time period we have been together. Not to be too mopey, but if I unleashed what I thought and had the privacy to write more often I'm sure heads would explode. When I was younger I use to have a whole wall in my room of stuff that I wrote, just in the off chance someone came in there maybe they'd care to read them ( family or friends ) or not I guess as history has proven ........hah

[Skieski]

Jorgen, I used to feel the same. But I have felt love, and I can assure you, when you truly find it, (at least for me) you could not care less what you do life, as long as you have that one person by your side.

Good Luck Global, with everything. I hope things change and turn for the best


And BTW, since you seem to be so enthusiastic about your writing, would you like me to create a Writings board? It would do as well to add a certain level organization to our art forum

[Global_Meltdown]

Rock on rocker! or in other words yes plz thank yous